well im not shitting sunshine anymore as part of the fuckup severance package, so congrats, you’re right, i should just ruin my life again while i’m at it
but i’m still gonna say no because i can, it just costs something else
it means they turned my powers off cause they go haywire when i feel like shit and the exorcist throwback was ruining the vibe of the requests i actually said yes to
what do you mean to gold just get him to silver and you too if you have that many upgrades lying around you can’t fucking judge me now that you’ve said that, asshole
[ … ]
armand’s been requesting me so you don’t have to waste their time when you and hawk need it more
it’s fine it’s weird i don’t know i would get rid of it all if i could anyway not that it’s gone gone, just like behind a door
he’d say no anyway you’re the only one who’d say yes
[ sorry you told him to get addicted to drugs again, so. ]
no it’s worse because people think being on top means you have a choice you still don’t plenty of people could hurt me i’m sure i’ve hurt people by saying yes to requests already
Thanks for the reminder, asshole. I don't want him to starve, either. I don't want him to be in a position where anything fucked up could happen to him. So I need him in gold. End of fucking story.
Everyone knows you've never meant to hurt anyone. So none of that matters. Who else have you said yes to?
I know where Hawk fucking is. Fuck. I'll find a way to get to him, too.
[ the answer should be no. and yet it's a resounding yes, he does want to know who bob has performed for. who's touched him. who's fucked him. for perfectly normal, just looking out for you bro reasons. ]
so let’s get everyone out of bronze first, you and hawk included
[ a long pause in which he considers whether he wants to share this information, and whether the people involved would mind if he did.
it’s all recorded, anyway. and if he and embry are — something — anything, it’s not an unfair question, even if he thinks it isn’t one embry will like. ]
okay yelena and bucky corry ani
[ hold for whatever the hell is about to happen. ]
[ ani. of course. he's seen ash and ani on the feeds too, he just hasn't brought it up in a great show of self-restraint. oddly, he's thought extensively of what it might feel like to be with her when neither of them want to — or at least one of them doesn't. if it would feel like the month that he loved her so much he wanted her body in the ground underneath his house. ]
[ pointing loudly at evidence of bob being a little shit. ]
I will when I need to jerk off tonight. And since you're not shitting sunshine anymore, that means your body's different. Send me a picture of you. I want to see who's left marks on you.
[ cycling through the many instances of jealousy in an attempt to figure out which one bob might be referring to. in any case, he's almost positive he's still correct. ]
Do you not want to show me because you're embarrassed? Who left marks on you? Corry? Ani?
and yet, embry receives a picture of his bare chest, visible down to the cut of his waist, pale skin bearing a not insignificant amount of bite-bruises. ]
[ no need to answer those first few questions because, well, they’re fucked up. that’s the long and short of it. it’s a stiff contest as to whether the commune or the pound — or the pool sleepwalking incident — or the boxing day near-cataclysm are more fucked up, so. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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but i’m still gonna say no
because i can, it just costs something else
[ a price he’d rather pay. ]
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What does that mean?
So you're going to starve. And go to fucking jail. Where you will die. Due to the fact that they won't feed you.
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and the exorcist throwback was ruining the vibe of the requests i actually said yes to
i’m not gonna die
i’ll figure it out
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I'll get Greer to request you. Say yes to her.
And when I get Ash to gold, say yes to him, too.
[ ... ]
Are you okay?
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just get him to silver and you too if you have that many upgrades lying around
you can’t fucking judge me now that you’ve said that, asshole
[ … ]
armand’s been requesting me so you don’t have to waste their time when you and hawk need it more
it’s fine
it’s weird
i don’t know
i would get rid of it all if i could anyway
not that it’s gone gone, just like
behind a door
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Greer got him to silver already by telling everyone she loves Ash more than me.
[ this is decidedly not what happened. ]
Fine. Armand's pretty good at taking care of you.
But just reach out to Greer if you need her.
[ long pause. ]
It's like how we met. But worse.
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i’ll tell him what you’re trying to do if he hasn’t figured it out already
don’t be an idiot
[ ... ]
yeah
yeah i guess so
kinda felt that way even before this
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Just with all your power gone.
It's not like how it was at the commune otherwise.
We're still ourselves. No one's going to hurt you like that.
[ prime guilty subject: him. ]
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you’re the only one who’d say yes
[ sorry you told him to get addicted to drugs again, so. ]
no it’s worse
because people think being on top means you have a choice
you still don’t
plenty of people could hurt me
i’m sure i’ve hurt people by saying yes to requests already
[ like you. ]
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I don't want him to starve, either. I don't want him to be in a position where anything fucked up could happen to him.
So I need him in gold. End of fucking story.
Everyone knows you've never meant to hurt anyone. So none of that matters.
Who else have you said yes to?
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there are other people you care about in bronze too
like hawk
[ do you hate your other man?? ]
a couple of the benefactors who had easy ones
[ jizz on my panties, etc. ]
some guests
do you actually want to know?
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I'll find a way to get to him, too.
[ the answer should be no. and yet it's a resounding yes, he does want to know who bob has performed for. who's touched him. who's fucked him. for perfectly normal, just looking out for you bro reasons. ]
Yeah
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[ a long pause in which he considers whether he wants to share this information, and whether the people involved would mind if he did.
it’s all recorded, anyway. and if he and embry are — something — anything, it’s not an unfair question, even if he thinks it isn’t one embry will like. ]
okay
yelena and bucky
corry
ani
[ hold for whatever the hell is about to happen. ]
cw mentions of violence/murder ?? it's love baby
[ ani. of course. he's seen ash and ani on the feeds too, he just hasn't brought it up in a great show of self-restraint. oddly, he's thought extensively of what it might feel like to be with her when neither of them want to — or at least one of them doesn't. if it would feel like the month that he loved her so much he wanted her body in the ground underneath his house. ]
Corry is a fucking asshole.
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so are you
and he’s not an asshole to me
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Does making me jealous get you off?
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no
other people get me off
you can roll the tape
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I will when I need to jerk off tonight.
And since you're not shitting sunshine anymore, that means your body's different. Send me a picture of you. I want to see who's left marks on you.
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you already have jerk off material
[ actually bob will beg for death if embry watches any of that. ]
last time i showed you, you got jealous of your own reflection
[ like a dog. ]
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[ cycling through the many instances of jealousy in an attempt to figure out which one bob might be referring to. in any case, he's almost positive he's still correct. ]
Do you not want to show me because you're embarrassed?
Who left marks on you? Corry? Ani?
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[ he’s VERY embarrassed, thanks.
and yet, embry receives a picture of his bare chest, visible down to the cut of his waist, pale skin bearing a not insignificant amount of bite-bruises. ]
that enough?
or do you wanna see them all?
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I want to see them all.
[ a pause. ]
No. I want to put them there.
Like the last time. When you came to me.
I want to see myself all over you.
[ another pause. ]
Never mind. I'm still pissed at you.
I don't want to hurt you. Just
Go away.
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no
i want you all over me
want you to touch me because you want to
and you do want to
just like you want to hurt me, and i want you to
it helps
[ it helped back then, when he kept fucking up, just like this. ]
don’t make me ask somebody else
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Jesus Christ, stop talking. It helps? The most fucked up thing I ever did to you helps?
[ only — hadn't he meant it to? hadn't it been the whole point to show bob he could rewrite pain to be something luminous and bright, like the sun?
he drags his hand down his face at the threat, knowing he's lost. knowing he never even had a chance of winning whatever fight he decided to pick. ]
I don't want you to ask anyone else.
I want it to be me. I want
Fuck, you have no idea the things I want to do to you.
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so show me
you don’t have to be careful for once
[ with the void on lockdown. ]
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cw refs to assault etc
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