[ he’s not trying for anything more than comfort, bob tells himself, than care. he puts his hands on bare skin, fingers splaying to cover the space between one rib and another. so vulnerable there, everywhere, open to invasion. one wrong thought, a pulse of his power, and embry will be ruined again. let go. he puts his hands in the space between embry’s legs, pushing himself up as embry cradles his face. nowhere else to go, called forward by the softness at the corners of embry’s red eyes. mesmerised by the lull of his voice.
you’re always good. he’s a goner — is what he is. his mouth parts on a soft sound, too easy. he goes with embry’s momentum like he doesn’t have a choice, like he isn’t immovable and unbreakable and all fucking powerful. he puts his hands — everywhere. palms dragging up and down his sides. half on top of him, chests slick and legs tangled. you’re still good. you’re always good is enough to make him shudder, no matter how untrue it is. embry makes it feel true.
(when he was most right at the end of their disastrous night together. all of him, no other guy to blame. three parts that compose a whole. all of whom want embry, to be sure.)
bob kisses him until he can’t taste the water any longer. until maybe he forgets drowning there and in his memories. like he has to prove how good he can be. ]
This isn’t how I meant it. [ something good. a clarification murmured against his mouth, half-hearted. hitched up on his elbow, weight on his side. he drags embry’s soaked pants lower, over his hips, down his thighs. a preamble to getting a hand on his cock before embry can pull into the lead. ] I wanted to walk you to your room. Put you to bed. [ with his leg hooked over embry’s knee, his body pressed to embry’s side, he needs only apply the faintest pressure to have him pinned. ] But you did say I could have anything.
[ instructive, almost, as he strokes embry root to tip and noses below his ear, where his damp hair has already begun to curl. a kiss to that sensitive stretch of skin. a squeeze at the base of his cock.
and maybe embry would usually deny him something this soft, but the bargain’s already been struck, hasn’t it? ]
You wanted to — [ eyes pressing shut, needing to reorient himself. buzzing with the energy that only comes from brushing up against death, swarming him now that he's not preoccupied with yelling at bob anymore. walk him to his room, like he can't be trusted to do that on his own (apparently true). put you to bed. it's so fucking sweet, far sweeter than he deserves after the whirlwind of ungenerous thoughts blowing through his head. ] I did say that.
[ more to himself than bob. he said it and he's been saying it and he can't fucking complain now that bob has decided to call his bluff. hard to hold any thoughts in his head between the buzzing and the heady arousal, his hips immediately rocking into bob's hand, his touch far more potent than it would be any other day. any other day he didn't walk into a pool and try to drown himself without even realizing it. ]
I wouldn't have let you leave, if you did that. I need —
[ a sharp breath, his cock twitching with every kiss bob gives him, his breath hot on his skin. he just needs, and there's no other thought after it. lost to his desires, fucking gone like he's twenty-five again. he tries to move, strains to roll over so he can grind all over bob and then come on the beautiful canvas of his body, but bob has him effortlessly pinned, not like before when his control was overwhelming, consuming, but just enough that all his decisions are cut off at the knees. which might be just as well, considering where his head is. ]
Please. I need it. [ a plaintive, obscene moan, head tilting to brush his panting mouth against bob's cheek. his cock weeps pearls of wetness along bob's fingers, his whole body trembling with need. the darkness of a carpathian forest flits behind his eyes, a starless sky. the metallic scent of blood in the air, from his own bullet wounds. ] Please, Bobby. I'll — I'll do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want to me. Just let me come. Please fucking touch me.
[ i think maybe it’ll take longer for you to do the things to me that i do to you. maybe not, when embry begs so easy. prettier than bob did on his knees at the commune, twice fucked in the head by the void and this goddamn place. all embry’s done tonight is make promises he probably has no intention of keeping, but bob likes to hear them anyway. likes him so much. too much already. bob likes him even though he knows that embry wouldn’t have let him stay. the lie just feels like the truth to him now, surely, falling from his lips in desperation. ]
I am touching you. [ quick, rough, the way bob likes to be touched, too. thumbing wetness from the crown of his cock to slick the way. straying, only briefly, to drag over his perineum. a tease that isn’t going anywhere tonight. ] You don’t have to do anything.
[ the inverse of what he said at the pound, high on ego and adrenaline. i don’t have to do anything. a vast improvement on the original line, in his opinion, with a higher purpose — embry unspooling like so much thread. anything more than this would be an advantage taken and regretted, he thinks, after the awfulness of the night.
(and bob would hate to appear on embry’s list of regrets again so soon, however inevitable his placement is.) ]
I’ll let you come. [ more earnest than commanding. bob cants his head to recapture embry’s mouth. all teeth and tongue, hungry for what he can’t keep. ] Just like this.
[ with a hand stroking through his hair and pumping his cock. with bob’s weight pinning him down, holding him steadier by increments. only easing off when embry gives that final jerk, to let him take his pleasure and release all that pent-up, rattling energy against his hip. ]
[ only cut off by bob’s mouth, which embry reaches hungrily for, teetering on the searing edge of pleasure while bob’s hand works him over, hard enough and soft enough both. like he knows him. he does know you, and all too fucking well now. so why is he still around? his breath trembles out of him, a hot pulse of pleasure, and then he’s coming so hard that he can barely make a sound, a soft keen moving raggedly up his throat. it’s like slowly shedding a weight, like something painful being sheared away. a vise easing around his lungs. his fingers close around bob’s wrist, holding tight, slowly stilling his hand as his hips rock into him and then stop. his heart flutters rapidly, nerves alight and alive.
it’s easy, so easy to get caught in this. in bob’s sweet mouth and ocean-deep eyes, the way he’d stay right here, soaked and shivering, if it meant he could keep kissing him. what’s not easy? everything else. don’t leave me isn’t easy when there’s still some ripped open part of embry’s mind that wants to run, that still thinks of the overwhelming control of the sentry and how that fits into the void. how all of it fits into bob, whose complexity is miles of broken glass, each fissure leading somewhere new and entirely unpredictable. a smile, a laugh. the hurt shining in his eyes. a vicious anger as potent as his own, only bob is both the powder keg and the match. his fingers slide down slowly, loosely twining their sticky hands. ]
Bobby. [ he releases an aching breath. doesn’t want to break this bubble, not yet, not when he wants to fist bob’s cock, wants to turn him over and fuck him right here on the wet marble floor. twice now, bob has saved his life. maybe three times, if he counts him leaving after pulling him into the void. another breath, this time tightening their hands. ] I’m going to tell Ash what happened. Greer, too. All of it. They’re not going to spread anything about you around. I just want you to know that — I’ll lie to anyone else about this, but not to them.
[ he believes in what he says, but it still feels like shit to think that he might be hurting bob with his words. that he will hurt bob, again and again, with the truth. he looks at him, his eyes a lucid blue, almost as clear as glass. ]
You know what happened between Ani and I. And I think you know her pretty well. [ the old, familiar guilt, still as sharp as a star. i know her better, he wants to say, which would be a lie, because the vivid life he remembers with her wasn’t real — and yet if it wasn’t, why does their hurt linger, festering like an infected wound? it’s the hurt that makes him speak up. ] I’m not leaving you, so don’t accuse me of trying to end this again. But I am going to tell you that you’re going to hurt Ani with this. With me. Don’t — I don’t want you to say anything. I don’t expect any kind of answer. Not now. Just know that I get it, if you need to get off the ride. Just say okay. Okay?
[ eyes imploring, his hurt a dull thing behind them. it will hurt, when he loses bob. but for right now, their hands are still entwined, and he’s still close enough to kiss — and he does, softly, deeply, with a promise behind it that he knows he can’t keep. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
🔞
you’re always good. he’s a goner — is what he is. his mouth parts on a soft sound, too easy. he goes with embry’s momentum like he doesn’t have a choice, like he isn’t immovable and unbreakable and all fucking powerful. he puts his hands — everywhere. palms dragging up and down his sides. half on top of him, chests slick and legs tangled. you’re still good. you’re always good is enough to make him shudder, no matter how untrue it is. embry makes it feel true.
(when he was most right at the end of their disastrous night together. all of him, no other guy to blame. three parts that compose a whole. all of whom want embry, to be sure.)
bob kisses him until he can’t taste the water any longer. until maybe he forgets drowning there and in his memories. like he has to prove how good he can be. ]
This isn’t how I meant it. [ something good. a clarification murmured against his mouth, half-hearted. hitched up on his elbow, weight on his side. he drags embry’s soaked pants lower, over his hips, down his thighs. a preamble to getting a hand on his cock before embry can pull into the lead. ] I wanted to walk you to your room. Put you to bed. [ with his leg hooked over embry’s knee, his body pressed to embry’s side, he needs only apply the faintest pressure to have him pinned. ] But you did say I could have anything.
[ instructive, almost, as he strokes embry root to tip and noses below his ear, where his damp hair has already begun to curl. a kiss to that sensitive stretch of skin. a squeeze at the base of his cock.
and maybe embry would usually deny him something this soft, but the bargain’s already been struck, hasn’t it? ]
no subject
[ more to himself than bob. he said it and he's been saying it and he can't fucking complain now that bob has decided to call his bluff. hard to hold any thoughts in his head between the buzzing and the heady arousal, his hips immediately rocking into bob's hand, his touch far more potent than it would be any other day. any other day he didn't walk into a pool and try to drown himself without even realizing it. ]
I wouldn't have let you leave, if you did that. I need —
[ a sharp breath, his cock twitching with every kiss bob gives him, his breath hot on his skin. he just needs, and there's no other thought after it. lost to his desires, fucking gone like he's twenty-five again. he tries to move, strains to roll over so he can grind all over bob and then come on the beautiful canvas of his body, but bob has him effortlessly pinned, not like before when his control was overwhelming, consuming, but just enough that all his decisions are cut off at the knees. which might be just as well, considering where his head is. ]
Please. I need it. [ a plaintive, obscene moan, head tilting to brush his panting mouth against bob's cheek. his cock weeps pearls of wetness along bob's fingers, his whole body trembling with need. the darkness of a carpathian forest flits behind his eyes, a starless sky. the metallic scent of blood in the air, from his own bullet wounds. ] Please, Bobby. I'll — I'll do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want to me. Just let me come. Please fucking touch me.
no subject
I am touching you. [ quick, rough, the way bob likes to be touched, too. thumbing wetness from the crown of his cock to slick the way. straying, only briefly, to drag over his perineum. a tease that isn’t going anywhere tonight. ] You don’t have to do anything.
[ the inverse of what he said at the pound, high on ego and adrenaline. i don’t have to do anything. a vast improvement on the original line, in his opinion, with a higher purpose — embry unspooling like so much thread. anything more than this would be an advantage taken and regretted, he thinks, after the awfulness of the night.
(and bob would hate to appear on embry’s list of regrets again so soon, however inevitable his placement is.) ]
I’ll let you come. [ more earnest than commanding. bob cants his head to recapture embry’s mouth. all teeth and tongue, hungry for what he can’t keep. ] Just like this.
[ with a hand stroking through his hair and pumping his cock. with bob’s weight pinning him down, holding him steadier by increments. only easing off when embry gives that final jerk, to let him take his pleasure and release all that pent-up, rattling energy against his hip. ]
no subject
[ only cut off by bob’s mouth, which embry reaches hungrily for, teetering on the searing edge of pleasure while bob’s hand works him over, hard enough and soft enough both. like he knows him. he does know you, and all too fucking well now. so why is he still around? his breath trembles out of him, a hot pulse of pleasure, and then he’s coming so hard that he can barely make a sound, a soft keen moving raggedly up his throat. it’s like slowly shedding a weight, like something painful being sheared away. a vise easing around his lungs. his fingers close around bob’s wrist, holding tight, slowly stilling his hand as his hips rock into him and then stop. his heart flutters rapidly, nerves alight and alive.
it’s easy, so easy to get caught in this. in bob’s sweet mouth and ocean-deep eyes, the way he’d stay right here, soaked and shivering, if it meant he could keep kissing him. what’s not easy? everything else. don’t leave me isn’t easy when there’s still some ripped open part of embry’s mind that wants to run, that still thinks of the overwhelming control of the sentry and how that fits into the void. how all of it fits into bob, whose complexity is miles of broken glass, each fissure leading somewhere new and entirely unpredictable. a smile, a laugh. the hurt shining in his eyes. a vicious anger as potent as his own, only bob is both the powder keg and the match. his fingers slide down slowly, loosely twining their sticky hands. ]
Bobby. [ he releases an aching breath. doesn’t want to break this bubble, not yet, not when he wants to fist bob’s cock, wants to turn him over and fuck him right here on the wet marble floor. twice now, bob has saved his life. maybe three times, if he counts him leaving after pulling him into the void. another breath, this time tightening their hands. ] I’m going to tell Ash what happened. Greer, too. All of it. They’re not going to spread anything about you around. I just want you to know that — I’ll lie to anyone else about this, but not to them.
[ he believes in what he says, but it still feels like shit to think that he might be hurting bob with his words. that he will hurt bob, again and again, with the truth. he looks at him, his eyes a lucid blue, almost as clear as glass. ]
You know what happened between Ani and I. And I think you know her pretty well. [ the old, familiar guilt, still as sharp as a star. i know her better, he wants to say, which would be a lie, because the vivid life he remembers with her wasn’t real — and yet if it wasn’t, why does their hurt linger, festering like an infected wound? it’s the hurt that makes him speak up. ] I’m not leaving you, so don’t accuse me of trying to end this again. But I am going to tell you that you’re going to hurt Ani with this. With me. Don’t — I don’t want you to say anything. I don’t expect any kind of answer. Not now. Just know that I get it, if you need to get off the ride. Just say okay. Okay?
[ eyes imploring, his hurt a dull thing behind them. it will hurt, when he loses bob. but for right now, their hands are still entwined, and he’s still close enough to kiss — and he does, softly, deeply, with a promise behind it that he knows he can’t keep. ]