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[sensive]

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@BOB

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[nishtha]

[ Pushed under Bob's door is an envelope with his name on. Inside is a phone charm, and a folded piece of heavy card stock paper with a poem carefully printed on it: ]

When I Heard at the Close of the Day — Walt Whitman

When I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv’d with plaudits in the capitol, still it was not a happy night for me that follow’d,
And else when I carous’d, or when my plans were accomplish’d, still I was not happy,
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health, refresh’d, singing, inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the morning light,
When I wander’d alone over the beach, and undressing bathed, laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend my lover was on his way coming, O then I was happy,
O then each breath tasted sweeter, and all that day my food nourish’d me more, and the beautiful day pass’d well,
And the next came with equal joy, and with the next at evening came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands as directed to me whispering to congratulate me,
For the one I love most lay sleeping by me under the same cover in the cool night,
In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,
And his arm lay lightly around my breast – and that night I was happy.

[ Folded within the paper is a calling card with another note, in slightly looser handwriting: ]

Meet me for dinner tonight? — A

✉️ — text.

[sensive]

[ it was only a week or so ago that he told billy no one had ever picked him up at his front door. armand’s next level, compared to that. he thumbs over the corner of the calling card, studying the lovely, looping writing. surely armand is beginning to realise he isn’t all that interesting or clever — only this suggests the opposite.

effort and care and thought, tied with a bow. ]

i’ll be there

you think this guy looks like me?

[ the distressed lil guy on the charm… ]

[nishtha]

Perhaps. [ It's the aura of despair and the cute little butt. ]

But for the most part I hoped it might make you laugh.

I have this one.

[ Attached: a photo of a Cinnamoroll phone charm draped across Armand's palm. ]

[sensive]

it made me laugh ☺️

[ hold for tender feeling. ]

whoa hey
that one looks like santiago!
i mean maybe a little happier
he has a kind of smug look sometimes
like he knows exactly what he’s doing

[nishtha]

Don't be fooled, he always knows exactly what he's doing. He finds joy in chaos and destruction, much like his namesake. And likewise, particularly enjoys tormenting me. This morning he possessed one of Babou's toys and floated it up to the ceiling above the curtains, so Babou decided to climb them and chase it. The maids were very upset at the state of the fabric afterwards.

I chose the charm for the resemblance. And the blue reminds me of your eyes.

[sensive]

[ a brief thought as to whether there is a family resemblance, with armand’s brood. troublemakers and all. ]

oh shit
maybe he’s extra jealous of the new kid on the block

[ babou… possibly also bob… ]

my eyes huh
sometimes people think they’re brown

[ because of how dark they are. he likes that the lighter, brighter hue, like the sea of the sky, still made armand think of him. ]

[nishtha]

Jealous and possessive to a fault, I'm afraid. You may need to keep a close eye on your shoes. He likes to hide them.

As for your eyes, clearly these others need to pay closer attention.

[ Or spend as much time gazing into them as Armand does. 😌 ]

[sensive]

that is not good for me when i lose em anyway

[ you’re enamoured with a guyfailure, armand. ]

maybe
don’t think i have time for them though
you know i’ve got dinner plans?

[nishtha]

A shame for everyone else. And good for the lucky person who gets to have you all to himself.

[ A brief pause while he contemplates an additional message, turning the beads of the phone charm through his fingers like a rosary. ]

I hope that I'm not coming on too strong. A tendency to strong emotion is an unfortunate side effect of vampiric nature.

[sensive]

[ having given up on securing his charm (content that armand will enjoy tying it for him, anyway), he only considers armand’s message for a short moment. ]

i like strong
and i like you

you don’t make me wonder what you’re thinking
which is pretty generous of you
cause you know everything i’m thinking
and i think a lot of embarrassing stuff

[ in general and about armand, specifically. ]

[nishtha]

You deserve honesty, after everything they've done to you.

[ He knows what it's like to be used. To be enslaved. He would happily destroy them all on Bob's behalf. ]

[sensive]

maybe
i mean yeah
thanks

[ deserve is a difficult word, isn’t it. ]

would you be able to
could you help
with the gaps

[ in his memory. back then. here. ]

or maybe that’s a bad idea
but would you tell me if i go a little
just if you notice anything

[ help ]

[nishtha]

Yes.

[ Without hesitation. ]

Your mind protects itself. The shadowed parts, scar tissue to close the wound. It would hurt, to open them again. But now I know what to look for, I can sense the edges, where the tears are likely to be. Perhaps see it coming.

If it happens again, what would you want me to do?

[sensive]

[ your mind protects itself. is that it? ]

run

[ the most important thing, when he can imagine the shadow of himself over armand that night. ]

tell bucky, yelena, and wanda
i don’t want to hurt you

i want to get ahead of it
because i don’t understand why it happens
i thought it was just the power
but it hasn’t been consistent like that

[ it didn’t happen after his strength came out with wanda, or when he joined jess in the ring. it only chased his encounter with embry (the one that went so poorly he wanted the ground to swallow him whole). ]

[nishtha]

Very well.

[ But. ]

I don't think you can hurt me.

When you came to me that night, I sensed within you an infinite sorrow. And hunger. A black hole torn in the fabric of the world, shaped like you, drawing everything in. You could have killed me. You didn't.

[ He remembers it, the voice. The throb of the shadows. You're so alone. He was, then. But now -- ]

I could show you the memory of it.

[sensive]

sounds like i came pretty close

[ cold radiates outward from his pelvis, at the mere thought of it. like he’s touching the void by talking about it, thinking about it, inviting it inside. ]

but okay
okay yeah
show me when i’m with you

[ not while they’re apart. ]

[nishtha]

Later. After dinner, if you want.

[ When they're in bed together. When he can take Bob into his arms. ]

[sensive]

later

[ if he wants. if he still feels brave after the hours between now and then unspool. ]

i’m sorry, by the way
for finding you like that
even though i’m glad it was you too
if that makes sense

[nishtha]

It does.

I'm glad to have found you.

[sensive]

[ there’s the light again, filtering through the curtains. ]

see i like strong
but when you say stuff like that
i get dizzy

[ 🥰 ]

[nishtha]

[ Their connection is a path, a passage through the rooms between them, growing clearer with every visit. Now, it warms, glows. Affection, amusement. Deep fondness for the boy who hasn't been given enough, who deserves more. ]

I could say more. Whispered in your ear while you move inside me. Achingly slow. Drawing out our pleasure until you can't stand it any more.

[sensive]

how am i supposed to go slow with you again

[ even though he has and will. at this point, bob thinks he’d do whatever armand asked of him. ]

i can barely stand it as is

[nishtha]

Eager boy. Perhaps I'll use Gift to keep you on the edge of it, leave you trembling and begging for release.

[sensive]

[ whoa. ]

whoa

[ 😳 ]

like the wedding
you’re a little freaky, huh, armand?

[nishtha]

More than a little.

Novelty becomes more valuable when centuries stretch ahead and behind you. It's important to remain interesting.