Your mind protects itself. The shadowed parts, scar tissue to close the wound. It would hurt, to open them again. But now I know what to look for, I can sense the edges, where the tears are likely to be. Perhaps see it coming.
If it happens again, what would you want me to do?
[ the most important thing, when he can imagine the shadow of himself over armand that night. ]
tell bucky, yelena, and wanda i don’t want to hurt you
i want to get ahead of it because i don’t understand why it happens i thought it was just the power but it hasn’t been consistent like that
[ it didn’t happen after his strength came out with wanda, or when he joined jess in the ring. it only chased his encounter with embry (the one that went so poorly he wanted the ground to swallow him whole). ]
When you came to me that night, I sensed within you an infinite sorrow. And hunger. A black hole torn in the fabric of the world, shaped like you, drawing everything in. You could have killed me. You didn't.
[ He remembers it, the voice. The throb of the shadows. You're so alone. He was, then. But now -- ]
[ cold radiates outward from his pelvis, at the mere thought of it. like he’s touching the void by talking about it, thinking about it, inviting it inside. ]
[ Their connection is a path, a passage through the rooms between them, growing clearer with every visit. Now, it warms, glows. Affection, amusement. Deep fondness for the boy who hasn't been given enough, who deserves more. ]
I could say more. Whispered in your ear while you move inside me. Achingly slow. Drawing out our pleasure until you can't stand it any more.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Without hesitation. ]
Your mind protects itself. The shadowed parts, scar tissue to close the wound. It would hurt, to open them again. But now I know what to look for, I can sense the edges, where the tears are likely to be. Perhaps see it coming.
If it happens again, what would you want me to do?
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run
[ the most important thing, when he can imagine the shadow of himself over armand that night. ]
tell bucky, yelena, and wanda
i don’t want to hurt you
i want to get ahead of it
because i don’t understand why it happens
i thought it was just the power
but it hasn’t been consistent like that
[ it didn’t happen after his strength came out with wanda, or when he joined jess in the ring. it only chased his encounter with embry (the one that went so poorly he wanted the ground to swallow him whole). ]
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[ But. ]
I don't think you can hurt me.
When you came to me that night, I sensed within you an infinite sorrow. And hunger. A black hole torn in the fabric of the world, shaped like you, drawing everything in. You could have killed me. You didn't.
[ He remembers it, the voice. The throb of the shadows. You're so alone. He was, then. But now -- ]
I could show you the memory of it.
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[ cold radiates outward from his pelvis, at the mere thought of it. like he’s touching the void by talking about it, thinking about it, inviting it inside. ]
but okay
okay yeah
show me when i’m with you
[ not while they’re apart. ]
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[ When they're in bed together. When he can take Bob into his arms. ]
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[ if he wants. if he still feels brave after the hours between now and then unspool. ]
i’m sorry, by the way
for finding you like that
even though i’m glad it was you too
if that makes sense
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I'm glad to have found you.
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see i like strong
but when you say stuff like that
i get dizzy
[ 🥰 ]
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I could say more. Whispered in your ear while you move inside me. Achingly slow. Drawing out our pleasure until you can't stand it any more.
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[ even though he has and will. at this point, bob thinks he’d do whatever armand asked of him. ]
i can barely stand it as is
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whoa
[ 😳 ]
like the wedding
you’re a little freaky, huh, armand?
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Novelty becomes more valuable when centuries stretch ahead and behind you. It's important to remain interesting.
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[ … ]
but now you being into me makes even less sense
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[ Bob, honey,, ]
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on many levels
i could be one of the freakiest people here
[ like, top fifteen? top ten? ]
i’m just some guy other than that stuff though
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And, as I believe I've said, you are a very good kisser.
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it might’ve come up
[ what with all the kissing. ]
you’re saying my desire to please is pleasing you
[ ✔️✔️✔️ ]
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i'll keep it up