[hawk remembers how hard bob seemed to take things when he'd been bottom of the barrel in the midst of involuntarily being inserted into a cult back before shit went to hell in a handbasket. but somehow, he doesn't think bob's name safely in gold is going to make him feel much better about all of it now.
and it's not that he worries about the ticking time bomb aspect everyone wants to pound into the group psyche, it's more - well, bob is one of the few people hawk unapologetically cares about and accepts vulnerability from. he's just thankful he can do this during a late evening after a long day in the woods, bones aching from the strain of repetitive motion and grueling hours in lieu of getting another fucking notification from that goddamn voyeur app.]
Hey Bobby.
You hanging in there? I'm glad you aren't down here, anyway. It's rough, even if I think you'd crush every piece of manual labor they'd throw your way.
...Not literally. Just, you know. I have eyes.
[like the time he bodily hefted embry up as if he were merely a rotten apple instead of flesh and blood.]
Nah it's - none of us signed up for this shit. We just gotta do the best we can.
Promise me you'll try and stay in silver. Whatever it is, I guarantee it's better than here. The less I got to worry about...the better. Besides, everyone's movin' on up.
[everyone except him. and bob, apparently.]
Look, I don't normally pay attention to the mumbo jumbo shit flying around, but I saw what you put out there. I'm named too - one of the wolves. This isn't how it went down last time, and I dunno what any of it means, but...do you think you could've fought the Shepherd? If things weren't the way they were at the commune?
[somebody doesn't know about baby's restrictions yet. oops.]
[ he thinks, maybe, there are people who view the way he speaks of — and fears — his power as egotistical or naive. that it’s a pissing contest with the people he hates, or simply another symptom of melodrama. embry thought so, before it wounded him.
it doesn’t really matter what they think, anyway.
because bob’s powers are terrible, he knows this. they are not infallible, even when the house operates as normal. its cosmic interference can muddle his senses. today, it’s gone so far as to imprison both sides behind a door in his mind, locked and rattling.
but if the house wishes to guard this place against what’s coming, he doubts that will last. ]
i’ll do you one better i think i could fight the thing that was inside the shepherd because the thing inside me might be the same or worse
[ that’s why he’ll let it out, like bucky asked. and in, like qimir says he must. he’ll need the void, whatever may come. ]
Different how? Talk to me, Bobby. I don't wanna see you any worse off. And I know this whole thing is fucked, but the ability to say "no" more than not at all is important.
[it's hard not to have a knee-jerk reaction - to tell bob that it can't be all bad if it's part of him, to spew the same kind of hope springs eternal bullshit that might sound romantic and thought-provoking and is the complete opposite of the stringent realist that exists in him.]
Well, the good news is - it sounds like we might need worse.
I'm more concerned about making sure we get you in one piece when it's all said and done, if it comes to that. Maybe it's selfish not to give a shit what happens to the library or the ghosts or whatever the hell are plaguing this place, or even the other people on that list aside from the ones that matter to me - but you're one of 'em.
I don't suppose there's anything a guy like me can do, but if there is - I need you to tell me. Waving a white flag, playing punching bag - whatever brings you back, that's what matters.
[maybe he sounds like the naive one, assuming control can be taught in this context. that emotions mean something here. but he's tired of seeing the people he cares about beaten down - this month more than ever. tim, embry, harry - bob shouldn't be on that list too.]
cw refs to addiction, substance abuse related dubcon
i just mean i used to do whatever, y’know? with whoever but i was high as fuck back then
[ so it was easier. it didn’t matter. (and he didn’t have powers that might hurt anyone he touched, either, dredging up their worst memories for the camera.) ]
thanks for worrying about me you’re really smart so if you can make sense of any of this or the stuff silco and koby are finally sharing with everyone, i’m all ears i don’t even know if i should want to help the house, y’know? all it does is hurt us
I knew a kid like that, once. Out in Rehoboth Beach - but you know what nobody bothered asking him instead of what $5 could get 'em? What happened. Why he was there. If they could have helped him by buying him a drink and listening to him instead of just doing business with him.
What people ought to respect more about him - and you - is that you survived. That's what they're asking us to do now with all this. And for some of us it's probably not that hard to keep playing games and hiding the things we desire while we get our hands dirty, but...it's not carte blanche for everyone.
I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say about all of that - unless you got a few requests you wanna knock out with a friendly face that won't take advantage. But if I can - you know where to find me. That's not an invitation to come down to bronze as a new roommate, though.
...I'll see what I can do there, though. Maybe Rosie can tell me a thing or two.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@HZF | text
and it's not that he worries about the ticking time bomb aspect everyone wants to pound into the group psyche, it's more - well, bob is one of the few people hawk unapologetically cares about and accepts vulnerability from. he's just thankful he can do this during a late evening after a long day in the woods, bones aching from the strain of repetitive motion and grueling hours in lieu of getting another fucking notification from that goddamn voyeur app.]
Hey Bobby.
You hanging in there? I'm glad you aren't down here, anyway. It's rough, even if I think you'd crush every piece of manual labor they'd throw your way.
...Not literally. Just, you know. I have eyes.
[like the time he bodily hefted embry up as if he were merely a rotten apple instead of flesh and blood.]
no subject
hey
i’m okay
i’d swap jobs with you if i could
you’d be way better at the stuff they’re trying to teach me up here
[ and he’d be fine. with or without his powers, oxe engineered his body for peak performance. ]
sorry i bet that sounds ungrateful
i wish i could help, i mean
[ but his status is useless, in that respect. ]
i fudge the timelines here bc what is time
Promise me you'll try and stay in silver. Whatever it is, I guarantee it's better than here. The less I got to worry about...the better. Besides, everyone's movin' on up.
[everyone except him. and bob, apparently.]
Look, I don't normally pay attention to the mumbo jumbo shit flying around, but I saw what you put out there. I'm named too - one of the wolves. This isn't how it went down last time, and I dunno what any of it means, but...do you think you could've fought the Shepherd? If things weren't the way they were at the commune?
[somebody doesn't know about baby's restrictions yet. oops.]
beautiful to me
[ he thinks, maybe, there are people who view the way he speaks of — and fears — his power as egotistical or naive. that it’s a pissing contest with the people he hates, or simply another symptom of melodrama. embry thought so, before it wounded him.
it doesn’t really matter what they think, anyway.
because bob’s powers are terrible, he knows this. they are not infallible, even when the house operates as normal. its cosmic interference can muddle his senses. today, it’s gone so far as to imprison both sides behind a door in his mind, locked and rattling.
but if the house wishes to guard this place against what’s coming, he doubts that will last. ]
i’ll do you one better
i think i could fight the thing that was inside the shepherd
because the thing inside me might be the same or worse
[ that’s why he’ll let it out, like bucky asked. and in, like qimir says he must. he’ll need the void, whatever may come. ]
no subject
[it's hard not to have a knee-jerk reaction - to tell bob that it can't be all bad if it's part of him, to spew the same kind of hope springs eternal bullshit that might sound romantic and thought-provoking and is the complete opposite of the stringent realist that exists in him.]
Well, the good news is - it sounds like we might need worse.
I'm more concerned about making sure we get you in one piece when it's all said and done, if it comes to that. Maybe it's selfish not to give a shit what happens to the library or the ghosts or whatever the hell are plaguing this place, or even the other people on that list aside from the ones that matter to me - but you're one of 'em.
I don't suppose there's anything a guy like me can do, but if there is - I need you to tell me. Waving a white flag, playing punching bag - whatever brings you back, that's what matters.
[maybe he sounds like the naive one, assuming control can be taught in this context. that emotions mean something here. but he's tired of seeing the people he cares about beaten down - this month more than ever. tim, embry, harry - bob shouldn't be on that list too.]
cw refs to addiction, substance abuse related dubcon
i used to do whatever, y’know? with whoever
but i was high as fuck back then
[ so it was easier. it didn’t matter. (and he didn’t have powers that might hurt anyone he touched, either, dredging up their worst memories for the camera.) ]
thanks for worrying about me
you’re really smart so if you can make sense of any of this
or the stuff silco and koby are finally sharing with everyone, i’m all ears
i don’t even know if i should want to help the house, y’know? all it does is hurt us
no subject
What people ought to respect more about him - and you - is that you survived. That's what they're asking us to do now with all this. And for some of us it's probably not that hard to keep playing games and hiding the things we desire while we get our hands dirty, but...it's not carte blanche for everyone.
I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say about all of that - unless you got a few requests you wanna knock out with a friendly face that won't take advantage. But if I can - you know where to find me. That's not an invitation to come down to bronze as a new roommate, though.
...I'll see what I can do there, though. Maybe Rosie can tell me a thing or two.