INBOX

[sensive]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME
@BOB

text ⚫ audio ⚫ video

Comments

text

[nishtha]

[ One morning: ]

Would you like some breakfast? My room has a balcony.

[ Since all their other routines have been thrown awry. ]

[sensive]

[ after a slight delay, more due to his general malaise than anything to do with armand: ]

yeah, i can come by
don’t eat all the bacon

[ because armand doesn’t eat anything… ]

[nishtha]

I'll save it for you.

[ Ha ha. ]

You might have to step over Baron as you come in.

[ The tiger's been sleeping over sometimes. ]

[sensive]

[ record scratch. ]

saber’s pet?

[nishtha]

He needs more than the scraps they're feeding the others. I've offered a place of safety for him. Better he's asleep on my floor than hunting the camera crew.

[sensive]

right

[ he thinks of silco stepping in to protect saber at the hex club. of armand immediately assuming bob views the wolves as a group. well, aren’t they? ]

think i’ll pass on sharing those scraps
maybe some other time

[ he can’t look at the thing without seeing saber (without seeing adrian) — ]

[nishtha]

[ Oh. ]

Very well.

[sensive]

[ a long pause. ]

You know how I feel about him.

[ how he barely stomachs it to protect ani. ]

[nishtha]

We're not friends. Baron tolerates my presence better than his owner does.

[sensive]

But he trusts you with his pet, and the pet that definitely isn’t just a pet likes you plenty.

What do you call that?

[nishtha]

Something largely outside of my control.

I didn't ask to be the Shepherd's dog. How long will you keep holding it against me?

[sensive]

come on, i’ve never held that against you

i just can’t look at that thing and not see him
and not see adrian the way i found him

[ unsaid but thought: you said you liked that about me. ]

[nishtha]

Then I'll send him away.

[sensive]

okay
i’ll come by tomorrow, if you still want me to

[ after he’s drawn a line and begged armand not to cross it. something he’s never done with anyone, really, when armand’s the one who offered to stay out of his head. (something that he probably couldn’t do, if it had been his own body in the dirt.) ]

[nishtha]

Of course I still want you to.

[ Though tomorrow feels too far away, for once. But he'll respect the boundaries as they're drawn; there won't be so much of a whisker of the tiger in his room. ]

[sensive]

[ it’s something, for armand to concede this, even though bob can’t help but think of saber in that space now. bob over for breakfast, saber for dinner. how close are they? not friends, but that seems a technical, convenient distinction. they’re more, bonded in a way that armand has now claimed himself, after saber acknowledged it in the hex chat.

he thinks he understands a fraction of what ani felt, when she learned how close he was with embry, and he doesn’t know what to do with the sour sentiment. can’t set it aside, even if he doesn’t wish to cling to it. ever the problem, unable to let his hurts go. memories of adrian’s scarred throat and ash’s open guts plague him still. in the night. at the slip. and in the day — his eyes are always drawn to the nick that’s permanently etched into jake’s smile, because it wasn’t enough for a wolf to kill him. he had to suffer first.

(is it naive or selfish to try to keep those horrors separate from armand? to want them to exist only in shadow, in the way of his own fractured self?) ]

okay
i’ll have to come early
got a new assignment

[nishtha]

[ Naive. Selfish. Both, perhaps. But he wouldn't be alone in wanting it to be that way, for the both of them. Wishing for something better. Brighter days. The simplicity of warm sunshine. ]

A new assignment?

[sensive]

[ aha. ]

guess they finally got tired of me fucking up every gold gig
and putting the lights on the fritz

[ it was an accident ok get him a thunder vest next time ? ]

[nishtha]

They've demoted you.

[ Someone get his emotional support dog an emotional support dog. ]

[sensive]

[ we don’t have to say it like that (the truth of what happened) ]

i wasn’t really gold material in the first place

[ must have been an admin error. ]

[nishtha]

I worry more about those who are. What do you have to do?

[sensive]

i think i’m banned from f&b after blowing it as hospo director

[ he had never seen giles’ eyebrow twitch before that. thought the guy came straight outta madame tussaud’s. ]

cleaning or something? to start

[ having never held down a job in his life, he feels less than optimistic about anything sticking. nevermind his instinct to reject matches, no matter the cost. ]

[nishtha]

If you need a break, I can request you. Give you some time alone to sleep or eat.

[sensive]

[ back to being the burden. ]

you probably shouldn’t try to bail out the fuck-up, if you wanna stay where you are

cw: forced eating

[nishtha]

There's a patron who has requested me three times so far this week. I've run out of chances to decline without receiving further punishment. Whoever this patron is, they enjoy watching me as I'm forced to eat human food. I don't imagine the treatment will be any better elsewhere, but at least this way I can offer some shelter with the place I've been given. At least what I'm made to do can mean something, even if it is as small as allowing someone I care about to lie down for half an hour without any expectations on his body or mind.