[It's another lazy afternoon being spent on the sofa of Bob's room. Training has been set aside in favor of (yet another) reread of The Return of the King, complete with the familiar weight of Bob's head against his lap. A makeshift pillow for the other man to use as he tries to catch up with the sleep he so desperately needs. The fingers of his right hand run distractedly through Bob's hair, an attempt at comfort that's as much for himself as it is for Bob. A reminder of the fact that the other man trusts him enough to let his guard down like this. That Bucky actually has a reason to try.
It's only once he finds himself rereading the same page for what feels like the tenth time that he finally closes his book and sets it aside, his attention drifting back to the man in his lap. His expression is fond in a way that feels uniquely directed towards Bob these days. A level of care and admiration there that only rears its head when he's face to face with the other man. So he doesn't bother trying to hide it. Doesn't see a reason to, when Bob's already seen some of the worst Bucky has to offer and still hasn't gone running.
How the hell he managed to survive living in a post-Steve world without someone like Bob around, he doesn't know. But he sure as hell is glad that's changed.]
You know, I've taken a lot of women out on dates before. [His words are a quiet murmur between them, only spoken once it's clear that sleep is evading the other man completely.] I was always the guy to show a girl a good time. But I was never the type you took home to meet your folks. [Especially given how much of a flirt he used to be. That might not be who he is now, but it's still a small piece of him he wants to share. A ghost of the past for Bob's ears only.]
I tried dating again after the Blip. [His face scrunches up a little at that. At some of the things he saw on those apps everyone was so engrossed with.] Never sat right with me though. There's people out there who think it's a turn on to take pictures with tigers in captivity. Seems kind of messed up to me. [Which is saying a lot, coming from someone like him.]
What happened to just going out and meeting people anyway?
[ bob read somewhere that relaxing with your eyes closed is, like, almost as good as sleep. this probably isn’t true, but it feels that way sometimes — and it feels that way most often when he’s with bucky. with every few tugs on his hair, blunt nails soothing at his scalp, he sighs. shifts a little, here and there, restless today (restless always, thanks to the power and its overwhelming energy, his unquiet mind and its splintering thoughts) s’nice, anyway, with bucky’s heartbeat in his ears, those strong fingers in his hair, the warmth of his body compounding bob’s own. as close as he gets to rest, on bad days.
today isn’t a bad day. not at all. ]
Mm. [ a flutter of lashes, and bob opens his eyes, true blue flitting up to find his view freshly unobscured. lucky, lucky. as bucky talks, bob stays settled. i’ve taken a lot of women out on dates. sure, he buys that, especially for rakish, sepia-toned, museum-bucky, grinning in every photograph. a timeless kind of handsome. still is, with the sharp angle of his jaw overhead.
never the type you took home — bob’s brows and eyes lift, all of his features drawn the slightest bit up, tinged with wonder. more for the sight of bucky than anything he’s saying, though bob likes when his voice goes low and intimate like this, a secret kept between them. he draws a knee up, tipped into the back of the sofa, slowly refocusing, and bends an arm to toy with the hem of bucky’s shirt.
one corner of his mouth curls. ]
Those guys hang out in bars and clubs, too, old man. [ snorting, ] Trust me. They mostly order you drinks without asking and breathe-talk on girls too nice to send ‘em packing. No asshole photo op to warn you before it’s too late.
[ a pause in which he opens his mouth again, only to press his tongue against his teeth. a rethink of whatever he was gonna say. ]
So nobody stuck? [ he slips his fingers beneath bucky’s shirt, knuckles brushing along the flat of his stomach. ] After the Blip?
[His expression hardens for the briefest of moments, images of Bob being the recipient of those unwanted advances crossing through his mind. The idea of someone taking advantage of him, knowing the problems Bob used to have, sparking that same protectiveness he feels every time his past is mentioned. But between one breath and the next, he forces himself to let it go. To let his focus shift back to the present instead.
Something made a whole lot simpler with the feel of Bob's hand slipping beneath his shirt.]
There's a lot of strange people out there. But I think it takes a special kind of different to think dating the Winter Soldier would be a good idea. [He's infamous for a reason. And while a lot of reputations can be worked around, people have a valid reason to avoid him once they know who he is. Was. Could be again.
It'd taken waking up in an entirely different world for him to ever consider the idea of dating someone again. Had needed the connections he'd built with people like Ash and Natasha, back in Duplicity, to make it clear that he could find a way to be himself without scaring off any potential partners. And then here, that reconnection. And perhaps more importantly, finding something new. Building something from scratch with a person so willing to take him at both his best and his worst. Who gives him a reason to want to do better.]
Guess it's just as well that special kind of different found me though, huh? [Sure, they might not have actually given a label to what they have. But the relationship they've been building, as friends, as family, and as whatever moments like this could be considered, feels more important to him than anything traditional dating could give him. More rewarding. Just, more. And Bob is at the heart of it all.]
[ bob watches bucky’s expression tighten, wanting to reach up and smooth out the crease between his brows. keep it from ever returning, by holding his fingers there. it goes before he can act, and so bob stretches his fingers up, over bucky’s ribs instead. ]
[ quieter, ] Well, I do think it’s a good idea.
[ he thinks to tack on if you were wondering or if you do too but for once, he stops himself from hedging. it’s true, whether or not bucky accepts it — whether or not he even wants something like that with bob, of all people, a not-so-reformed fuck-up. a walking apocalypse. it’s true that being with bucky is, inherently, a good idea. ‘cause bucky is a good person. he’d be good for anyone, and he’s been very good for bob, whatever form that takes. ]
If you knew Bucky Barnes, you’d think so too. [ not the winter soldier alone any more than bob is just the sentry or the void. an amalgamation of the man he was and is and could be. the type of guy to lay him out on the prep kitchen counter and stay here with him for hours.
a special kind of different. is that what he is? bob turns a little into bucky’s hand in his hair, a flower opening in the sun. ]
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It's only once he finds himself rereading the same page for what feels like the tenth time that he finally closes his book and sets it aside, his attention drifting back to the man in his lap. His expression is fond in a way that feels uniquely directed towards Bob these days. A level of care and admiration there that only rears its head when he's face to face with the other man. So he doesn't bother trying to hide it. Doesn't see a reason to, when Bob's already seen some of the worst Bucky has to offer and still hasn't gone running.
How the hell he managed to survive living in a post-Steve world without someone like Bob around, he doesn't know. But he sure as hell is glad that's changed.]
You know, I've taken a lot of women out on dates before. [His words are a quiet murmur between them, only spoken once it's clear that sleep is evading the other man completely.] I was always the guy to show a girl a good time. But I was never the type you took home to meet your folks. [Especially given how much of a flirt he used to be. That might not be who he is now, but it's still a small piece of him he wants to share. A ghost of the past for Bob's ears only.]
I tried dating again after the Blip. [His face scrunches up a little at that. At some of the things he saw on those apps everyone was so engrossed with.] Never sat right with me though. There's people out there who think it's a turn on to take pictures with tigers in captivity. Seems kind of messed up to me. [Which is saying a lot, coming from someone like him.]
What happened to just going out and meeting people anyway?
no subject
today isn’t a bad day. not at all. ]
Mm. [ a flutter of lashes, and bob opens his eyes, true blue flitting up to find his view freshly unobscured. lucky, lucky. as bucky talks, bob stays settled. i’ve taken a lot of women out on dates. sure, he buys that, especially for rakish, sepia-toned, museum-bucky, grinning in every photograph. a timeless kind of handsome. still is, with the sharp angle of his jaw overhead.
never the type you took home — bob’s brows and eyes lift, all of his features drawn the slightest bit up, tinged with wonder. more for the sight of bucky than anything he’s saying, though bob likes when his voice goes low and intimate like this, a secret kept between them. he draws a knee up, tipped into the back of the sofa, slowly refocusing, and bends an arm to toy with the hem of bucky’s shirt.
one corner of his mouth curls. ]
Those guys hang out in bars and clubs, too, old man. [ snorting, ] Trust me. They mostly order you drinks without asking and breathe-talk on girls too nice to send ‘em packing. No asshole photo op to warn you before it’s too late.
[ a pause in which he opens his mouth again, only to press his tongue against his teeth. a rethink of whatever he was gonna say. ]
So nobody stuck? [ he slips his fingers beneath bucky’s shirt, knuckles brushing along the flat of his stomach. ] After the Blip?
no subject
Something made a whole lot simpler with the feel of Bob's hand slipping beneath his shirt.]
There's a lot of strange people out there. But I think it takes a special kind of different to think dating the Winter Soldier would be a good idea. [He's infamous for a reason. And while a lot of reputations can be worked around, people have a valid reason to avoid him once they know who he is. Was. Could be again.
It'd taken waking up in an entirely different world for him to ever consider the idea of dating someone again. Had needed the connections he'd built with people like Ash and Natasha, back in Duplicity, to make it clear that he could find a way to be himself without scaring off any potential partners. And then here, that reconnection. And perhaps more importantly, finding something new. Building something from scratch with a person so willing to take him at both his best and his worst. Who gives him a reason to want to do better.]
Guess it's just as well that special kind of different found me though, huh? [Sure, they might not have actually given a label to what they have. But the relationship they've been building, as friends, as family, and as whatever moments like this could be considered, feels more important to him than anything traditional dating could give him. More rewarding. Just, more. And Bob is at the heart of it all.]
no subject
[ quieter, ] Well, I do think it’s a good idea.
[ he thinks to tack on if you were wondering or if you do too but for once, he stops himself from hedging. it’s true, whether or not bucky accepts it — whether or not he even wants something like that with bob, of all people, a not-so-reformed fuck-up. a walking apocalypse. it’s true that being with bucky is, inherently, a good idea. ‘cause bucky is a good person. he’d be good for anyone, and he’s been very good for bob, whatever form that takes. ]
If you knew Bucky Barnes, you’d think so too. [ not the winter soldier alone any more than bob is just the sentry or the void. an amalgamation of the man he was and is and could be. the type of guy to lay him out on the prep kitchen counter and stay here with him for hours.
a special kind of different. is that what he is? bob turns a little into bucky’s hand in his hair, a flower opening in the sun. ]
Plus he’s really easy on the eyes.