( truly zero idea how to accept acknowledgement for what he does being understood correctly as care, rather than obsessive freak behavior, which it also is. most people try to get him to stop. )
Responsibility is overrated. S'okay. You owed me, for when I screwed up during Werewolf month. ( audibly, sets his forehead down on his desk. quieter, ) I'll try not to freak next time. Promise.
You can freak out. I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to, but — when they gave me these powers — or when they tested them on me, they picked me because they knew no one was going to look for me. And nobody did.
[ not after months. half a year. it’s hard to say how long he was in there, when he remembers so little (when he was cruising from bender to bender before he went under). ]
So. It means a lot to me. That you looked. [ clearing his throat. ] And freaked out a little. Like, a heroic amount.
Dude, obviously I looked for you. You're the man. Everyone else sucks.
( including embry. he's not sure it's the time to bring it up — but then again, no one has ever argued that adrian's timing is spectacular. )
You wanna know why I became Vigilante? It's not a cool story with dope superpowers. ( in the beat of silence: adrian rolling his eyes. ) I was kind of a loser in school. And my brother and his friends used to beat the shit out of me, which was cool because we were having fun, but you know. I always wanted to beat him. And I always hated bullies. ( in this temporary silence: adrian's own self-discovery. ) But, I guess mostly I just wanted to give people an excuse to, you know, like me. Get all the cool superhero friends, be the person people counted on, make the news praise me for being the shiz and saving people or whatever. I did it to feel important
( and then never got any superman-esque praise, but you know — did get peacemaker, who's friendship is worth a billion newspapers kissing his shiny white ass. now he has bob, who's worth two billion. )
Anyway. I was trying to say — if Embry bullied you, I'll kill him. Forreal.
[ it’s not a cool story with dope superpowers, but then, neither is bob’s. it seems that way from the outside, he knows. on paper, bob the hero. sentry, sun, god. maybe people don’t look at adrian and see the same thing — but they do think he’s invincible, in a way, impervious to the barbs that affect others.
he hums his acknowledgment of the rhetorical question first, when he would nod if they were together. how strange, for this to be one of the few times they haven’t been. stranger still, for the truth of adrian’s thoughts and feelings to slip through the receiver. it’s less than he withholds them, or so bob thinks, and more that he isn’t quite in touch with them. ]
Well, you’re that guy to me.
[ the hero, saving people or whatever.
as for the rest — ]
It’s okay. He didn’t. I mean, he hurt me. But for other people, it wouldn’t — it would matter, obviously, but with what I’ve got going on, it’s. It’s riskier. I shouldn’t have let it get that bad, knowing how I am.
[ brimming with terrible power. a sensitive boy, in the words of his kindly english teacher. weak, from his father’s perspective. ]
Save the hit job for the real bad guys, is what I’m saying.
( the hero. The Guy™️, of all time. you could pull a line up of guys for adrian to choose from, and it'd be bob 100% of the time, hands down, no questions asked. he cared when adrian went missing, too — at least on that front they have twin feelings, used to being forgotten outliers to the world. )
But ... you would tell me, right? If he was being fucked up to you? In like a "get hit" sorta way. ( proverbially kicking dirt on the ground. ) I mean. I feel like you're taking a lot of the blame, which is a very You thing to do, but people should know not to be fucked to you. You're like a teddy bear. And lots of people love you.
[ tongue in cheek, though he sounds touched. hard not to be. after he spent minutes that felt like hours in the void, time dilated and insecurities magnified. hearing every doubt about his worth and nature in stereo. ]
Yeah, a lot of people do. You made sure I don’t forget it.
[ all over adrian’s post and in his inbox, even more proof than his fierce defenders at the trial. ]
I don’t know that I know what’s fucked up or not. [ or maybe he does, and he chooses when to rationalise it, the same as adrian. my brother used to beat the shit out of me, which was cool. ] Or I do, and that’s a shitty excuse to make problems for everyone, when I get twisted up about it later. Sorry, anyway.
Psh! ( a much more enthusiastic psh than his previous one. adrian usually bounces back — usually because of bob. ) You don't owe me an apology. I like your problems! I like everything about you. Anyway, fucked is ... I mean, it's like — it's when — um ... ( trying to figure out what being treated right is like when your standards are in the mud? ) Well. As long as you're always taking care of Bob, we're square. And if you're not — I'll take care of Bob, easy! I hid affirmations in your room, and I reorganized your CDs, and I made your bed. The maids never do it right — too British, I think.
[ for everything. he'd meant it when he told others how much a difference adrian already made back at the commune, with energy enough to compensate for his low moods. adrian does even more for him now. maybe others would find it too much — but it's just right. for bob. proof of care, too abundant to be denied. ]
I like you, too. [ with a sigh, ] Looking forward to figuring out what system you used for the CDs this time.
[ since it seems to change with adrian's finicky brain. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
( truly zero idea how to accept acknowledgement for what he does being understood correctly as care, rather than obsessive freak behavior, which it also is. most people try to get him to stop. )
Responsibility is overrated. S'okay. You owed me, for when I screwed up during Werewolf month. ( audibly, sets his forehead down on his desk. quieter, ) I'll try not to freak next time. Promise.
no subject
You can freak out. I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to, but — when they gave me these powers — or when they tested them on me, they picked me because they knew no one was going to look for me. And nobody did.
[ not after months. half a year. it’s hard to say how long he was in there, when he remembers so little (when he was cruising from bender to bender before he went under). ]
So. It means a lot to me. That you looked. [ clearing his throat. ] And freaked out a little. Like, a heroic amount.
no subject
Dude, obviously I looked for you. You're the man. Everyone else sucks.
( including embry. he's not sure it's the time to bring it up — but then again, no one has ever argued that adrian's timing is spectacular. )
You wanna know why I became Vigilante? It's not a cool story with dope superpowers. ( in the beat of silence: adrian rolling his eyes. ) I was kind of a loser in school. And my brother and his friends used to beat the shit out of me, which was cool because we were having fun, but you know. I always wanted to beat him. And I always hated bullies. ( in this temporary silence: adrian's own self-discovery. ) But, I guess mostly I just wanted to give people an excuse to, you know, like me. Get all the cool superhero friends, be the person people counted on, make the news praise me for being the shiz and saving people or whatever. I did it to feel important
( and then never got any superman-esque praise, but you know — did get peacemaker, who's friendship is worth a billion newspapers kissing his shiny white ass. now he has bob, who's worth two billion. )
Anyway. I was trying to say — if Embry bullied you, I'll kill him. Forreal.
no subject
he hums his acknowledgment of the rhetorical question first, when he would nod if they were together. how strange, for this to be one of the few times they haven’t been. stranger still, for the truth of adrian’s thoughts and feelings to slip through the receiver. it’s less than he withholds them, or so bob thinks, and more that he isn’t quite in touch with them. ]
Well, you’re that guy to me.
[ the hero, saving people or whatever.
as for the rest — ]
It’s okay. He didn’t. I mean, he hurt me. But for other people, it wouldn’t — it would matter, obviously, but with what I’ve got going on, it’s. It’s riskier. I shouldn’t have let it get that bad, knowing how I am.
[ brimming with terrible power. a sensitive boy, in the words of his kindly english teacher. weak, from his father’s perspective. ]
Save the hit job for the real bad guys, is what I’m saying.
no subject
You're that guy to me, too. No cap.
( the hero. The Guy™️, of all time. you could pull a line up of guys for adrian to choose from, and it'd be bob 100% of the time, hands down, no questions asked. he cared when adrian went missing, too — at least on that front they have twin feelings, used to being forgotten outliers to the world. )
But ... you would tell me, right? If he was being fucked up to you? In like a "get hit" sorta way. ( proverbially kicking dirt on the ground. ) I mean. I feel like you're taking a lot of the blame, which is a very You thing to do, but people should know not to be fucked to you. You're like a teddy bear. And lots of people love you.
no subject
[ tongue in cheek, though he sounds touched. hard not to be. after he spent minutes that felt like hours in the void, time dilated and insecurities magnified. hearing every doubt about his worth and nature in stereo. ]
Yeah, a lot of people do. You made sure I don’t forget it.
[ all over adrian’s post and in his inbox, even more proof than his fierce defenders at the trial. ]
I don’t know that I know what’s fucked up or not. [ or maybe he does, and he chooses when to rationalise it, the same as adrian. my brother used to beat the shit out of me, which was cool. ] Or I do, and that’s a shitty excuse to make problems for everyone, when I get twisted up about it later. Sorry, anyway.
no subject
( guy who does not understand nuance. )
Psh! ( a much more enthusiastic psh than his previous one. adrian usually bounces back — usually because of bob. ) You don't owe me an apology. I like your problems! I like everything about you. Anyway, fucked is ... I mean, it's like — it's when — um ... ( trying to figure out what being treated right is like when your standards are in the mud? ) Well. As long as you're always taking care of Bob, we're square. And if you're not — I'll take care of Bob, easy! I hid affirmations in your room, and I reorganized your CDs, and I made your bed. The maids never do it right — too British, I think.
🎀
[ for everything. he'd meant it when he told others how much a difference adrian already made back at the commune, with energy enough to compensate for his low moods. adrian does even more for him now. maybe others would find it too much — but it's just right. for bob. proof of care, too abundant to be denied. ]
I like you, too. [ with a sigh, ] Looking forward to figuring out what system you used for the CDs this time.
[ since it seems to change with adrian's finicky brain. ]